Intrinsic Motivation and my kids

Elyon writes:

"It has been suggested by researchers that extrinsic motivators, such as
points and prizes, may have temporary positive effects, but in the long run
work against the very behaviors a parent may be trying to instill. It has
also been suggested by my daughter's teachers and friends' parents that the
only or best way is through extrinsic motivators, like little presents, or
stickers on a chart.

"To the playful parents (and others interested) amongst you: How do you feel
about stickers and charts? What do you recommend as intrinsic motivators?"

Extract from my overlong response follows:

"Anyhow, here's my take on the charts and stickers thing:

"As a parent, while I really want to reward you for your achievements and
compliance and support, I want even more to build on your own sense of
competence, judgment and authority.

"So, when it comes to charts and gold stars, I'd like to see Maya involved in
deciding what gets charted, and by whom. I'd like to see maybe a family
chart and a family giving of stars so Maya can give stars to you, too.

"And I'd like to take this opportunity to give you, one, too."