Superbowl Halftime Tabletop Shuffleboard Carroms M&M Football

I just received an anonymous commission to design a game that would be suitable for Superbowl Sunday halftime break. Actually, it wasn't so much a commission as a request. And it was from my son.

Be that as it may (now that I think of it, how else could that be, maywise?), here's my thought:

Start out with 22 M&Ms of two different colors. Eleven, of course, of each, color-wise. And a popped popcorn kernel. And clearly demarcated section of table or floor. Create goal posts at either end of the playing field - a straw, for example, balanced on the tops of two glasses.

The offense kicks the football (a.k.a. popped popcorn kernel) downfield by means of a finger-flick, as one might finger-flick a carrom. Players on either team then take turns, shuffle-sliding their assigned M&Ms in the manner of tabletop shovelboard (a.k.a. shuffleboard). That is, one touches the top of one's M&M with one's finger, and then imparts momentum to one's M&M in the desired direction. Obviously, one must not keep one's finger on one's M&M. Players on the receiving team attempt to shuffle their M&M into the erstwhile football, in the hopes of striking it in such a way as to cause it to move towards the opponent's goal. Players may shuffle their M&M into another M&M or into the football itself. One shuffle per turn.

As soon as the football is struck by an M&M belonging to the offense, the ball is considered downed. As in traditional football, teams then position their M&Ms in scrimmage-like fashion, and the game continues, pretty much as abovementioned. Kicking or passing the football is accomplished by direct flick. Moving the football, however, can only be achieved by means of the M&M shuffle.

The game ends just as halftime is drawing to a close. The losing team gets eaten.