A "deeper kind of fun"

K8 writes:

"The truth is that since I am now a competitive cyclist, it is rarely fun. Not on the 'let's laugh until our bellies split' kind of fun - the fun that most people are after thinking that that will be fulfilling. It's a deeper kind of fun - a fun that I don't even realize that has taken hold. It is so fun to realize that I am a part of a greater body doing good for everyone to the point that all reality just drops off and I am existing on a very basic and animalistic plane. It's ride and keep riding or risk falling over. It's that simple. I have to do it. It's what drives me. I do all things to that end...to get my fanny in the saddle and get in touch with the divine source of happiness. It's a labor of love. I hate it at times. Most of the time I love it (or at least the thought of it), but I can not not do it. It is what brings me the most joy and freedom and independence and passion. Even more religious than childbirth, because it can be duplicated. More spiritual than sexual union because I can get it on my own anytime. I put myself in the right state of mind and the right moment arrives. Sometimes it lasts. Sometimes I feel it but for a fleeting moment. But when I truly let go of thinking about my goals and act them out, it is infinitely wondrous. Bliss. And then I realize that I'm all stinky and sweaty and very hungry. So I get myself home to eat and shower and cuddle with my girl and kiss my hubby.

Life is great. Even with a wounded knee, I can not be kept off my bike. There must be a biker gene. This is something every cyclist will tell you they can relate to. This is why I am most at home surrounded by cyclists. They all have 'regular' lives that they live off the bike. But we are likeminded in that we all become our own superhero in the saddle. We are powerful beasts that propel ourselves through space at the speed of racing cars on city streets. We crash and burn. But we always come back for more. It's a deeper synergy than an addiction, because we keep ourselves in check by virtue of the human aspect. If we risk too much, we will be injured and will have to take some time off. That is the hardest discipline there is: self-regulation. Time off the bike is time on the mind. Growing in focus, becoming deeper in the connection to why we do the things we do..."

This "deeper kind of fun" is a kind of fun that produces a deeper kind of laughter as well, a laughter that most often has no sound, and some times comes out in a brief, whole body "whee." I like to think of it as "glee." I guess that's because some of my friends have called me that, the "guru of glee." But now I'm thinking I'd rather be called the "Wizard of Whee."

Thank you, K8, for this gift. For reminding us of that sport, at its best, is a spiritual event, "true passion," as you say in a later message to me, "being freely loosed into the atmosphere."