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GiftTRAP - playing with empathy

GiftTRAP is a party game about giving each other gifts. The better you are at giving people the things they really want, the better you do at the game.

How do you like that for a party game premise? giving each other presents.

Well, we loved it!

What fun to think about what other people might want for a present! What a fun thing to think about for a change! What a fun way to play with other people - giving presents to the very people you're trying to beat, winning because you're good at guessing what other people might want!

OK, so they're not, like, real presents. They're only photos. But in the world of GiftTRAP, they're real enough. So real enough that you actually get excited when people give you the gifts you really want. Really excited. Even though they get more points than you do. And you're just as excited when you give people the gifts they most really wanted. Because they get excited. And, just maybe because you get more points than they do.

GiftTRAP is masterfully packaged. The board, for example, is folded into a U-shape that fits everso well into the GiftTRAP box (well, cube, actually). Since each player has to use a lot of different pieces (2 scoring markers, 9 gift tokens, and 4 choice tokens), all of the player's chosen color; the pieces come in their own individual, appropriately colored organza drawstring bags. Then there are the many decks of cards - 640 of them. Just so you never run out of something new to give each other.

But it's the game itself that deserves the most attention, and praise. Praise, because it's probably the first and only party game in which empathy is a strategically valuable commodity, empathy and intuition, sensitivity and appreciation, even.

GiftTRAP is a new kind of party game. A kinder kind. A Major FUN kind.




from Bernie DeKoven, funsmith

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Anonymous Noise said...

On the surface, I really like the idea of a game that promotes gifting. But when I consider the object of GiftTRAP, I'm offended by the way it endorses materialism and the myth that mandatory gifting is a reflection of the giver.

In GiftTRAP, you gain points by giving someone what they want but lose points if you misjudge the recipient's earthly desires. Is that reward system really in line with the true spirit of giving?

Whatever happened to "it's the thought that counts?" If someone thinks enough of you to give you a gift, shouldn't you appreciate the act of giving more than the gift itself? So what if they missed the mark? At least they cared enough to try.

This game is a make-believe version of the real-world tradition of MANDATORY gifting, which hardly reflects the spirit of charity and sharing. Every holiday season, birthday, graduation, wedding and birth, we're required to give "gifts" to certain people simply because our culture expects it of us. We look bad or selfish if we disobey the tradition regardless of our true feelings for the person, or our desire (or ability) to give him or her a gift. Mandatory gifting is like an insincere apology: we do it because we have to, not because we want to. Isn't it time we put an end to this practice instead of perpetuating it?

In another blog I read, an acquaintance posted an entry today with the title, "If you really love me, you'll buy me these." The entry went on to describe a set of collectable figurines that the author has a strong desire to possess. A comment under the entry, from her husband, said, "if they weren't so expensive, i would give you the whole set."

Again, it's the thought that counts. Shame on my acquaintance for suggesting that her husband's love be measured by his ability to throw away money on useless trinkets.

I hate to disagree with you, Bernie, but I believe that GiftTRAP completely misses its mark. For a gift to really mean anything, it should come from the heart, with no strings attached. Those who play GiftTRAP--like those who give gifts for the holidays simply because it's expected of us--are like puppets: the strings are heavy, controlled by a culture that's deeply rooted in materialism instead of heart-felt sentiment. Needless to say, I won't be gifting this game to anyone.

 
Blogger Bernie said...

Thanks, Noise, for the thoughtful, and clearly heart-felt response to this review. Your point about "mandatory gifting" is very well-taken, and believe you me, considering my shopping skills, any kind of mandatory gifting gives me the shakes.

But the game here is with pretend presents.

It's the pretend part that makes this game work so well, I think. The gifts we are exchanging aren't real. They're just pictures of real gifts. What does get exchanged, for real, are our sensitivities to each other. If I'm trying to decide whether my pretend gift is something you might like, what I'm thinking about, really, is you.

Since no real gifts are exchanged, since it's only the thought of the gift, it's really, actually, finally the thought that counts.

 
Anonymous Noise said...

Although I see where you're coming from, I can't agree that the "pretending" makes this game better than reality. Whether the presents are real or imagined, GiftTRAP still promotes the idea of giving based solely on cultural constraints—in this case, the rules of the game dictate when, and to whom, you will give a present. For adults, playing this game reinforces the value that we already assign to mandatory giving. And, as you're well aware, children use play to learn the skills they will carry into adulthood, thereby encouraging another generation to replace gifting “from the heart” with gifting “by the book.”

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on this one.

 
Blogger Spudart said...

I like games that make you try to figure out what the other person will like. Much like Apples to Apples where you try to pick the subject card that best matches the judges topic card. It's a great way to get to know people that are anywhere from strangers to close friends.

 

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