Rough and Tumble Play, with love

Don Ratcliffe writes:

"As part of my doctoral dissertation work I spent several hours on a school playground observing children. I had previously studied the rough and tumble play of boys in my classes, and was well aware of the increasing gender differences in relation to affection (boys becoming much less affectionate than girls as they get older, as affection is often considered 'gay' by boys). It struck me as I observed the children playing that rough and tumble play could be considered a masculinized affection--and thus considered appropriate by the boys--because outwardly it looks like fighting, but in actuality it is a way for boys to touch one another--indirectly showing affection--without receiving charges of being "gay." This section of (the) video portrays the differences in displays of affection, the accusation of a boy when two others are 'too affectionate,' and the development of rough and tumble play between the two boys subsequent to this accusation. When I show this, I sometimes like to play an excerpt from 'All You Need is Love' by the Beatles. Unfortunately, that would be a copyright violation here, but of course you can play a copy of the song as you watch the video. To see my complete dissertation, as well as other links to the Internet Archive with dissertation video data of mine, see this."

As any teacher or recreation worker can tell you, allowing children to engage in rough and tumble play is fraught with parental perpetrated perils. Until I saw this particular video, the only person I knew who dared to champion this kind of play was my friend and co-mentor Brian Sutton-Smith. But it appears that his influence has spread far and wide. For a brief synopsis, try this and, for a more in-depth discussion, this.

from Bernie DeKoven, funsmith