Thursday, April 01, 2010
No Post - April Fools
April First is our traditional day of religious observance here in the Funsmithy.
Hence, there will no post.
According, by the way, to the Oaqui, it is by no accident that April Fools Day coincides with the beginning of the most solemn of all the celebrations of the Oaqui, Rosh Ha-Oaqui, the Oaqui New Year, the beginning of the High Oaquidays.
While you and your readers devote an entire day to getting fooled, being foolish, and fooling around, we/I Oaqui devote our/myselves to inner reflection, the making of binding promises, and the playing of Conceptual Oaqui Ball. April Fools is to us/me so delightfully Shadow Oaqui. If there weren't an April Fools Day, the laws of irony would demand that such a day be invented, just so it could coincide with the one day on which the true Oaqui simply do/es not fool around.
On Rosh Ha-Oaqui, the Oaqui devotes him/her/themself/ves totally to the pursuit of the truth as found in Conceptual Oaqui Ball. Be that as it may (or, in this case, April), we/I am/are not fooling. Here it is. Right here in your virtual desktop, the actual game itself, Conceptual Oaqui Ball, as played by the Oaqui on Rosh Ha-O-aqui day, revealed.
After you have sufficiently focused and centered and stuff, you try to conceptualize a playable, plausible, but not necessarily actual game, that effectively and playworthily combines two or more actual, but not necessarily playful sports. I/We for example take the first turn, and consequently open with a mere third level synthesis:
VolleyFootBasketball. I/We posit the existence of a football field. At the 50 yard line, a volleyball net, strung to goal-post height. Where there were goal posts at either end of the field, baskets. Where there was a football, a basketball. There are (two, three) teams and baskets, (one, two) ball(s). When the whistle blows, team (A and/or B and/or C or not C) begin(s) to dribble the ball towards the net at the 50-yard line, until ready to kick the ball over the net towards the opposing team (')(s) basket. If the kicking team manages to get the ball into the opposing team(')(s) basket, that team, naturally, (loses, gains) (1, 2, 7) point(s).
The player with the ball is the only player that can legally be tackled, though illegal tackling is allowed once the ball-bouncer crosses the 50-yardline. The ball can not of course be dribbled, passed or carried under the net. If a team scores twice in a row, players must rotate positions so that there are new quarterbacks, etc. Every time there is a new scoring team, teams rotate quarterbacks, the quarterback from team A now becoming the quarterback for team B, etc. There are four quarters. At the end of the fourth quarter, the team with at least one more point (wins, changes the rules). And if you, Mr. major, and your entirely virtual network also want to play, it is up to you to (continue, take the next turn) in Virtual Oaqui Ball. I/We have had ours/mine. No fooling.
And, by the Oaay, happy April, if you know what we/I mean, Fools Day.
Your friend and mine/ours,
The Oaqui
from Bernie DeKoven, funsmith
Hence, there will no post.
According, by the way, to the Oaqui, it is by no accident that April Fools Day coincides with the beginning of the most solemn of all the celebrations of the Oaqui, Rosh Ha-Oaqui, the Oaqui New Year, the beginning of the High Oaquidays.
While you and your readers devote an entire day to getting fooled, being foolish, and fooling around, we/I Oaqui devote our/myselves to inner reflection, the making of binding promises, and the playing of Conceptual Oaqui Ball. April Fools is to us/me so delightfully Shadow Oaqui. If there weren't an April Fools Day, the laws of irony would demand that such a day be invented, just so it could coincide with the one day on which the true Oaqui simply do/es not fool around.
On Rosh Ha-Oaqui, the Oaqui devotes him/her/themself/ves totally to the pursuit of the truth as found in Conceptual Oaqui Ball. Be that as it may (or, in this case, April), we/I am/are not fooling. Here it is. Right here in your virtual desktop, the actual game itself, Conceptual Oaqui Ball, as played by the Oaqui on Rosh Ha-O-aqui day, revealed.
After you have sufficiently focused and centered and stuff, you try to conceptualize a playable, plausible, but not necessarily actual game, that effectively and playworthily combines two or more actual, but not necessarily playful sports. I/We for example take the first turn, and consequently open with a mere third level synthesis:
VolleyFootBasketball. I/We posit the existence of a football field. At the 50 yard line, a volleyball net, strung to goal-post height. Where there were goal posts at either end of the field, baskets. Where there was a football, a basketball. There are (two, three) teams and baskets, (one, two) ball(s). When the whistle blows, team (A and/or B and/or C or not C) begin(s) to dribble the ball towards the net at the 50-yard line, until ready to kick the ball over the net towards the opposing team (')(s) basket. If the kicking team manages to get the ball into the opposing team(')(s) basket, that team, naturally, (loses, gains) (1, 2, 7) point(s).
The player with the ball is the only player that can legally be tackled, though illegal tackling is allowed once the ball-bouncer crosses the 50-yardline. The ball can not of course be dribbled, passed or carried under the net. If a team scores twice in a row, players must rotate positions so that there are new quarterbacks, etc. Every time there is a new scoring team, teams rotate quarterbacks, the quarterback from team A now becoming the quarterback for team B, etc. There are four quarters. At the end of the fourth quarter, the team with at least one more point (wins, changes the rules). And if you, Mr. major, and your entirely virtual network also want to play, it is up to you to (continue, take the next turn) in Virtual Oaqui Ball. I/We have had ours/mine. No fooling.
And, by the Oaay, happy April, if you know what we/I mean, Fools Day.
Your friend and mine/ours,
The Oaqui
from Bernie DeKoven, funsmith
Labels: Oaqui
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