It’s pretty obvious if you think about it. But it becomes even more obvious when you read someone else thinking about it – and citing research, even.
from A Prescription for Playfulness
Psychologist and relationship researcher, Dr. John Gottman, found that playful couples have significantly higher odds of staying together than those who do not play well together. Years of research (including a twelve-year study of same-sex couples) reveal a crucial ratio that every person in our community should emblazon to memory. 5:1.
Happy long-term couples, regardless of sexual orientation, engage in five positive interactions for every negative one. Daily injections of playfulness and kindness can be one way for couples to develop what Gottman calls “Positive Sentiment Override” – a mental and emotional buffer that alters how couples remember past events, view future challenges, and cope with stress.
The good news is that those interactions don’t require expensive gifts, fancy dinners, or elaborate entertainment (though these don’t hurt), but are more about spontaneous acts of silliness, tenderness, and caring. A smile, a hug, a wink, an endearing pat on the rear end, a mutual belly laugh, a compliment, a thoughtful question about the other’s day, a comical face, a witty pun – - these are the magical moments that create a well of goodwill. Playful communication inks a love map that gives us much needed guidance and direction for later when the relationship hits a rough patch.