When I describe fun coaching, one of the most frequent of all frequently-asked-questions is “you mean, you actually make a living from this?”
I am always a little pained when I hear that question. I do get paid, from time to time. But, basically, making a living-wise, my answer is “not so much.” And that’s a hard answer to give – especially when I’m in the middle of leading a fun coaching workshop. But the truth is, I don’t make my living from fun coaching. I make my life from it.
Making things a little more fun, helping people make things more fun, I make my life a little more fun. It doesn’t matter what else I’m doing, for a living or not. If I’m sitting in the waiting room of my doctor’s office, and there’s someone next to me who’s open to talking, I do what I can to make our conversation a little more fun. I might say something like: “you come here often?” or “is there a way to do this online?” or “do they actually call this fun?” You know, something harmless, silly, something that might open us to talk about something other than mortality and its inherent drawbacks. Or if there’s a TV, and I have a better view, I might offer someone my seat, or ask if it’s ok to change to the cartoon channel. Or if there’s a kid there, I might make up some game with her, something we can play, say, with the magazines. Same thing if I’m speaking, or teaching, or designing something. It’s my practice, see. I’m practicing fun.
I do this when I take a walk in the park and I see someone walking their dog. Dogs are such wonderful doors into the playful side of the soul, such good opportunities for sharing the sense of joy. Or mothers with babies. Same thing.
I do this pretty much all the time – sometimes, when I get too tired, or when I forget, it gets a little challenging. I’d do this no matter what else I’d be doing – if I were a teacher or therapist or janitor. Because it’s my way. My way to make things a little brighter. To bring a little more light. If you’re leading Laughter Yoga or giving group therapy or working a cash register…
On our last trip to Israel, I met a cashier working at a grocery store named “Mister Cheap” (at least, that’s how you might translate the name of the chain – a name which turns out to be more ironic than descriptive). Now, Israel is not a very service oriented country. And the people who sit at grocery store checkouts (yes, sit – a remarkably enlightened practice) tend to view customers as disruptions. They don’t bag. They don’t help. They don’t get paid well, either. They just scan things and shove them down to the other end of the line and you scurry to get everything into bags before the next customer’s stuff crowds you out. Generally the cashiers don’t talk to you, either. And the expression on their faces is perfect for making you not want to talk to them. But there was this one cashier, Carla, who not only talked to customers, but smiled, joked, greeted, laughed with them. She was exceptional in every way. Happy. Kind. Deeply caring. I remember her apologizing to me one time for having yelled at a customer. (I don’t remember any yelling. She might have raised her voice. She might have not said anything funny.) She told me that she was so upset with herself that she could barely go to sleep that night. She was a fun coach. She spent her life making other people’s lives more fun. When things got the better of her and she couldn’t make them fun, she felt that she had failed. She was my fun coach.
If you are already a coach, fun coaching is a way for you to help the people you are coaching begin to value the fun they are actually having in their lives – the fun of work, the fun of family, whatever. If you teach dance or music or computer science and you understand the idea of fun coaching, you help the people you teach rediscover the fun of dance or music or computer science. It’s a way you are with people. A way you invite people back into their lives. A way you invite yourself back into your life.
I’ve been fun coaching all my professional life. For me, it was such a central part of my life, that I wound up making a career out of games – making them, teaching them, changing them – so I could focus more on the sheer fun of it all. What better way to be a fun coach than sharing the very things that are supposed to be fun! It kind of goes with the territory. And we are at our best when we are doing this with each other, playing. Closest to being the being that we have the most fun being. Can I help you make a living out of this? I can help you make a life.