How we make our lives more fun

by Bernie DeKoven on January 6, 2011

In preparation for my next Fun Coaching workshop, Rocky and I decided to create a little list, much as I advice all the participants, of the things we do to make our lives more fun. This, however, was the first time I tried to do this as and for a couple. And, as a couple, who, by chance, happen to be married for almost 45 years, it turned out to be a remarkably loving, far-reaching exercise – helping us surface aspects of our relationship that, even though they are central, are as subtle as they are profound in keeping us as close as we have become.

Here is the link to the online version – which will remain the most current. For now, and for you, here’s what we have so far:

How we make our lives more fun (Rocky and Blue)

Between us

  • Paying attention to each other
  • Admiring each other’s talents
  • Accepting each other’s differences, limits
  • Listening to each other, asking questions, getting clear
  • Encouraging each other to do what each of us most wants to do
  • Making each other laugh
  • Being funny
  • Doing silly things
  • Little acts of improvisation, spontaneous skits
  • Playing games
  • Generally, not keeping score
  • Appreciating each other’s success
  • Changing the rules
  • Being kind to each other
  • Who ever gets up first makes breakfast in bed for each other
  • Surprising each other
  • Making meals for each other
  • Making a face out of raisins and bananas
  • Appearing in an outrageous outfit
  • Leaving notes
  • Buying each other something special at the grocery or hardware store
  • Dancing – spontaneously, sometimes without music
  • Sharing memories
  • When one of us looks happy (singing, humming or smiling) it makes the other happier
  • Planning
  • Respecting each other
  • Trusting each other
  • Touching each other

Between us and the world

  • Learning something new together
  • Experimenting
  • Trying new spices, fruits, foods, etc
  • Trying out new restaurants, grocery stores, parks, neighborhoods to visit, roads to travel
  • Solving household dilemmas
  • Inventing new ways to “make do” New uses for common objects
  • Being kind to others
  • To other people (family, friends, strangers)
  • To animals, insects, plants
  • Pointing out things to each other that we think the other would enjoy
  • Bringing new people into each other’s lives
  • Pretending
  • Speaking in accents
  • Pretend conversations as we walk by people, e.g.: “Where did we leave that body?”
  • Walking together
  • Exploring different paths
  • Walking and talking
  • Building junk sculptures on our walks
  • Noticing flowers, smelling, touching
  • Listening to bird songs, trying to sing along
  • Sharing chores – keeping things fair, in balance
  • Being with the kids and grandkids
  • Helping together
  • Deciding together about how to spend and save



A Playful Path photoA playful path is the shortest road to happiness.
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