I was talking with my friend of many years, Brian Sutton-Smith, (many years – he’s 87 years old now, and I’ve known him for about 50 of them) about The Well-Played Game. He was very excited about the book, impressed, even, at how I was championing games and fun. And, he added, what I was writing about was, in his considerable opinion, very different from what most people think of as fun – especially people engaged in national pastimes (you know, sports and war). Very different.
I begged to differ (please, o please let me differ), largely because I have encountered the writings of some leading figures in sport (e.g. Bill Russell) who can and do attest to an experience that transcends even winning, precisely as that described in the title of my book. But Brian was firm in his opinion, adamant, even, that what I had accomplished with my book was something unique, something of great value to children, teens, their parents and teachers, and the enlightened few. But not to most of the world, and especially not to those who loved sports. Sports, he said, were all about “angry fun.”
I’ve written before about angry fun. But Brian was talking about an even angrier fun – the kind of fun you get from, well, hurting people; from, as they say, trouncing your opponents. You know, walloping, beating, whipping, drubbing, crushing, slaughtering, defeating them utterly. That pumped-up, headlong, body-be-damned, risk-it-all, atavistic, basically brutal fun. So brutal that it’s even kind of fun when you get hurt, because it makes you angrier, makes you play harder, deeper, meaner.
This kind of angry fun is fun of a vey important kind. This really angry fun is so prevalent, so familiar, that for many it comes as a surprise that there’s any other kind of fun.
There are many reasons that fun of the angry kind is so fun, and there are at least as many reasons for the anger behind it. It is genuine fun, genuinely fun to give voice and embodiment to that voiceless, disembodied anger that sometimes consumes us. Considering all that, it is saying something about the civilizing influences of our cultures that: 1) our sports are, for the most part, peaceful, and 2) that we have any other kind of fun.
Angry fun is not only pervasive, but also central to understanding the breadth and depth of what fun means. As central as it is to remember that it’s not the only kind of fun.
But, now that I think about it, now that Brian has reminded me that my most important work has come from my explorations of fun of the non-angry type, I see my book, and myself a little more clearly. There’s angry fun. And there’s the kind of fun I teach. Fun of the kinder kind.
Which explains me, this blog, and probably while you’re still reading it.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m definitely reading because its fun of a “kinder kind”.
I will say that when I talk to adults about playing games, I get a lot of raised single eyebrows. Oh sure, they get games like card games that usually don’t break out in violence (Spoons exempted). But physical games (that are really more like sports) like Red Rover or Duck Duck Goose are definitely “child’s play” and something that sane, serious adults should not partake in unless there are children involved. I personally disagree, but I am definitely in the minority.
Some of our professional sports are definitely more geared to angry fun. Hockey (aka the Canadian National Passtime) is one of them. It’s amazing how quickly one can get swept into the fun angriness of it all. I’ve only been to one professional hockey game, and within minutes I found myself yelling “hit him!” (bodycheck him) And, as you may know, I’m not actually that kind of person. I’m pleading mob mentality.
Other sports, like soccer are somewhat less physical, and the goal is the goals. My husband coarches my daughter’s soccer team, and since he’s there, I’m usually home with the other kids and don’t get to watch many games. When I do, I am again vocal (vocal is me, violent is not) and encouraging. Unfortunately she has ended up on many a losing team (could be because my husband puts fun ahead of winning), and there have been many a game where the feeling of victory comes in just scoring one goal against the team that is winning 7-0.
The coaches talk among themselves about their teams and other teams, and those teams that are having “angry fun” and playing rough are not looked on well by the other teams or coaches. Sadly, those are the teams that often win the tournaments, but my daughter’s (husband’s) team has won a pizza party for being the “Most Sportsmanlike Team” for three seasons in a row. Most of them will tell you that’s better anyway.
Love and laughter,
Lily
That’s why I’m such an advocate of New Games and “pointless games” and games like those we give awards too on Majorfun.com That’s also why this blog is what you might call a “minority report.” Glad to have you as part of the minority, miss Lily. And you fun-loving husband, too.
Cruelty can be fun too. What about a gang of boys chasing a cat through bushes, throwing rocks at it and whooping with joy? I guess a lot of sports are supposed to channel that kind of aggression, adding structure, rules, the concept of fair play & the level playing field etc. I think it was because I couldn’t quite take that approach seriously (though it does have a role) that I first became a ‘game maker’ as a boy. Nevertheless all sorts of other things happen- and can happen- when people get together, even for sports. And so much of it can be so good- “good” fun in fact. So here I am checking out every deep fun post, commenting on rare mornings like this when the pile of work on my table isn’t too tall.
I have never understood people who find “angry fun” fun, I just completely don’t GET it!
I was recently part of a little dialogue (spawned by one of these blog posts) where I tried to understand what competitive people find fun or rewarding about watching competitive athletics, and invited people off my local homeschooling board to share. I can sort of understand a bit about what is fun about participating in them, in that mastery and increasing skill IS fun to me. We got about an inch forward, in that a couple people explained when they see their team win, it is as THEY win. So there’s some ego gratification.
But it just begs more questions, and Ididn’t feel like I should bring it up in our dialogue. I still don’t understand how anyone can actually feel that way (I feel like Spock, it’s just not LOGICAL because its NOT really “me” winning out there, it’s “him” and there isn’t much I have contributed to that win, when you think about it) but I also don’t understand why WINNING is so valuable that you would even WANT a proxy to do it for you. I am just mystified.
I feel fortunate that I ran into Buddhism and New Games at about the same time, as a teenager, and they have colored my outlook about everything ever since. Is it not MORE fun to watch mastery, WITHOUT the prizes? To achieve ever greater heights of success TOGETHER? Once we know enough to question competition and to understand the concept of game change, WHY would we ever look back? I am truly bewildered.
I have long thought that its because kids experience so much violence, just in the way communication with them happens, socialization, and how parenting and schooling are enacted in our world, that they just need to replay it and replay it in an effort to integrate it. But that’s really just a theory, a guess. I have no idea if anthropological (or psychological, or whatever) research bears this out.
Or if there is another explanation that wouldn’t make me feel like either a more highly evolved species or one missing some common trait, but at any rate not the same species…the last time I remember having this kind of fun was when I held my cat against her will, and I just didn’t and don’t feel GOOD about that like I do when we do things more collaboratively ….I just think it’s MORE fun the collaborative way….
I have been watching as VHSL fights SO HARD against letting homeschoolers participate in high school athletics. They use a lot of this “us against them” terminology. It’s actually making me wonder what they are hiding about what goes on in locker rooms or something, because homeschoolers will by definition be a little out of the “our school is the best school because we have a winning football team” thing.
Angry fun is god fun sometimes too. For me it represents playing out our inherent aggressiveness. We are came here by being hunter gatherers and it is an important part of our genetic past. It could be that we will develop in some other direction, and hopefully we will. But denying that pain, competition and aggressive games can be sometimes deeply fun is denying who we are. Of course aggressive games can stop being games, and become the opposite. I am into martial arts and sometimes it gets pretty rude. But just yesterday we had a great fun, when we bursted in laughs while pulling out unusual or unsuspected chokes and armbars. It was good fun! And nobody was hurt. Actually I think much more people get hurt from basketball and soccer than from training martial arts. At least thats my experience.