You have to feel safe enough to play – physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, environmentally safe. And you have to feel that you don’t have to play.
Note the italics on the word feel. As bungee jumpers, rock climbers, skydivers, parkour runners, cancer and tsunami survivors, Palestinians and Israelis can tell you, it’s more about feeling safe then about actually being safe. Another reason you feel safe is that you you know you can quit whenever you want to. Not that you are going to quit. Just that you know you can.
One of the things that helps make people in a play community so playful is that the whole community works together to create that sense of safety. More than being there for the fun, they are there for each other. You can say this about any community where people feel safe enough to play together, to sing and dance together, pray together, build together, to let their chickens and children roam free. They are there for each other when needed, and, for the rest of the time, for the sheer, divine fun of it all.
For more about safety and fun, see this.
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I’m not sure about this. I’ve occasionally said : “I don’t feel comfortable. But I’m going to try, because I _think_ this will be fun. I _think_ this will work. And I want to see what happens.”
But it’s complex, and I can’t quite untangle it. Being in the position to make that call ultimately comes from a place of safety. And you’ve really gone too far if you don’t think you will be okay, that you will be safe. But that doesn’t mean you feel safe or comfortable while standing on the ledge, or waiting to go on stage.
But that exhilarating feeling of things being just slightly out of control is one of my favorites.
I was thinking about this last week playing a game where everyone’s eyes are closed. I didn’t know that’s the game we were playing until it started to be explained. I suppose I could have quit if I really didn’t feel safe, but instead I used your practice of “minimal cheating”. You see, when my eyes are closed, I have no sense of direction, not even up and down, so I don’t feel very safe, so I let myself open my eyes a little before taking a step, but only to look down at the floor.
We talk about this in laughter yoga too. We talk about it being a “safe zone” and that we leave our judgement at the door. One of my favorite lines is “nobody can laugh at you if you’re already laughing, they can only laugh with you”.
Love and laughter,
Lily