Deep talk makes us happier

According to Dr. Mathias Mehl from the University of Arizona, people who spend more of their day having deep discussions and less time engaging in small talk seem to be happier.

As reported in the New York Times Blog Dr Mehl found that "substantive conversation seemed to hold the key to happiness for two main reasons: both because human beings are driven to find and create meaning in their lives, and because we are social animals who want and need to connect with other people."

He is quoted as saying: "By engaging in meaningful conversations, we manage to impose meaning on an otherwise pretty chaotic world. And interpersonally, as you find this meaning, you bond with your interactive partner, and we know that interpersonal connection and integration is a core fundamental foundation of happiness.”

Deep. Fun.

article Roni Caryn Rabin

via Douglas Germann




from Bernie DeKoven, funsmith

Happiness is a by-product

"I was having a conversation with a writer the other day, and he stated that the best things are always by-products. Happiness is a by-product, and I loved that he said that. You can plot your journey to success or happiness or wealth or whatever it is you’re looking for, but if you’re too focused on the end result, you’re going to miss anything good going on around you. (There’s also the fact that the end result will keep moving if you live like that. Okay, I got a four figure advance, now next time I want twice that, bigger press runs, and a New York Times review, then I will feel successful.) Not that we should all sing songs around the campfire and braid each other’s hair, but there has to be a combination of the two, forward motion and goal planning, but while taking a look at the people around you."

That's "by-product." Not "buy-product."

from Jeff Vandermeer'sAn interview with Jessa Crispin, founder of Bookslut, via Bobulate, via Swiss Miss




from Bernie DeKoven, funsmith

The Estonian Bank of Happiness

According to this article, here's how things work at the Estonian Bank of Happiness:

"To become a client, an Estonian must register online, listing the useful things that he can do for others (eg, grocery shopping, walking a dog, fixing cars) and those that he would like done unto him (eg, having a suit darned or windows cleaned).

"...The bank is hoping to create virtuous arcs, rather than circles, of unadulterated altruism all over Estonia, with the feeling of goodness serving as its own reward. The helper also receives tangible evidence of his kindness: a "banknote" - printable from the bank’s website = offered by the grateful recipient in lieu of money, inscribed on the back with the date and nature of the deed. The note can then be passed on to another good Samaritan. And there is no system of equations to codify how one deed compares with another; the system will be self-regulatory."

When one is referring to countries that exemplify happiness, one is generally not referring to Estonia. Perhaps one doesn't know that much about either.


via Alexander Kjerulf

from Bernie DeKoven, funsmith

Denmark, day one

The day after I arrived in Billund, Denmark, for some workshops and consulting with Lego, I was greeted by my friend and Chief Happiness Officer, Alexander Kjerulf, and a few of his many associates (from left to right: Mareike Bulow, Roosevelt Finlayson, your local funsmith, our Lego associate, Alexander, Michael Bech Bendix, and Bjarne Tveskov).

So we introduced each other to ourselves, and we shmoozed fascinatingly, and then, right in the middle of the Hotel Legoland lounge, we got up and played actual games.

Mr. Finlayson, it so happens, is from the Bahams, where he conducts programs he calls "Festival in the Workplace." His theory is that there is much for businesses to learn about the nature of work, just by recognizing the amazing amount of dedication and devotion that goes in to producing a Carnivale, all without salary or job title, all for fun. So, after we played my current most favorite of pointless games, Sound and Fury, he taught us one of his - a children's circle dance called Brown Girl.

And then we sat down, exhausted in glee, feeling as if we had known each other at least half a lifetime, and shmoozed some more,, until someone noticed that I was fighting myself to stay awake, and we hugged, and we took this picture, and we left each other amidst echoes of probably unforgettable delight.



from Bernie DeKoven, funsmith

"But when you have fun, it really doesn't seem like a job any more."

"What is the greatest lesson you have learned in your career?" the interviewer asks Dinger D. Dragon, mascot for the Fort Wayne Wizards.

"Have fun at work," replies Dinger, "especially in my line of work … it’s hard not to have a fun time at work. But when you have fun, it really doesn't seem like a job any more."

So, if it doesn't seem like a job, maybe it isn't.

Because the whole idea of calling something a "job" is to help you remember that it's not something you do for fun.

That should be your first warning. That should make it obvious that of all the things you need to be having in your fun-loving life, a job is maybe not one. Work maybe probably yes. A job. Maybe definitely not.

from Bernie DeKoven, funsmith

The Geography of Bliss

Amazon lists some 270,564 publications that have something to do with Happiness, the preponderance of which are serious, in-depth, carefully researched explorations of what has become the science of Positive Psychology. I've read several many of such books, but it wasn't until I found Eric Weiner's book, The Geography of Bliss that I felt truly happy about the study of happiness - mostly because Weiner is the first "happiness author" I've encountered that actually has fun researching and writing about happiness.

Weiner, a correspondent for NPR in New York, Miami and, currently, Washington, D.C., begins his search for happiness in Holland, where he meets with Ruut Veenhoven, the intrepid researcher and compiler of the World Database of Happiness. Veenhoven's database identifies the relative happiness of citizens of different nations. Weiner visits some of those nations (Switzerland, Bhutan, Qatar, Iceland, Moldova, Thialand, Great Britain, India and even the United States), hoping to discover how happiness manifests itself in each.

The result is spiritual travelogue, a funny, personal, and revealing exploration of the "states of happiness," so to speak, as it were.

I don't want to tell you where he found the greatest happiness, personally or politically, because that discovery is the heart of the book, and that's where you will probably reach the most provocative and profound conclusions about the state of your own happiness.

The Geography of Bliss is a study of the politics of joy. Revealing, honest, entertaining, fun to read, fun to think about. A profoundly rewarding travel book that is probably the happiest book on happiness you've ever read.



from Bernie DeKoven, funsmith