Oaqui* Ethics, Part One: the More Merrier Multiplier as Applied to Doing the Right Thing

Oaqui Ethics, part one: 

The Oaqui, when given a choice of things to do, consistently and without fail select the Right Thing to do, and to do it right.

Why this uncanny rightness? Is it, as some have said, because the Oaqui is/are a Conceptual Corpuscle of enlightenment floating in the stream of the Collective Consciousness?

We/I think not.

Is it therefore because of the Oaqui's almost wholesale purchase on the cornerstone of the Kantian Categorical Imperative?

Also not.

Rather, I/we, with unabashed aplomb, clearly attribute the Rightness of Thing-doing to the just about universal adoption of the Oaqui More Merrier Multiplier.

The More Merrier Multiplier

Imagine yourself saying something at a meeting, for example, and simultaneously wondering to yourself, "I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, saying this, being here."

If you were Oaqui, you wouldn't have to wonder. Because, knowing that 1) the only thing that really counts is fun, and 2) fun is the one thing in life you can count on being fun when you have it; you would simply do a Fun Count.

Simply, you'd count how many other people seem to be having fun, then multiply the sum by how much fun you seem to be having, and then multiply the product by how many more people will seem to have fun because of the product of the fun you seem to be having. Then you'd be absolutely sure how right the thing you're doing actually is.

The More Merrier Multiplier, in a mathematically articulate manner, expresses the true relationship between the Merrier and the More. If no one else in this meeting is making merry, OR if you find yourself clearly lacking in measurable merriment, OR if nobody else will be the merrier because we are having the meeting, the whole thing is pretty much worthless. Or, saying the same thing in just about the same way: If you're having fun, and if everyone else is having fun, and if just about the entire world will have more fun as the result of what you're having fun doing, you can be pretty sure that what you're doing is, in fact, a very right thing.

By applying what I/we Oaqui know/s as the More Merrier Multiplier, the Fun Count becomes a reliably accurate measure of the Rightness of just about any Thing you ever Do. Because, in a remarkably true-to-life manner, any zero in the chain of More Merrier calculations makes the whole thing not fun enough to count.

Your friend and mine/ours

The Oaqui

Oaqui Linguistics, a Primer

The Oaqui ("oa" is probably pronounced "wa", "qui" is most likely pronounced "cky", as in "wa cky") were first introduced to the world through the virtual writings of the person currently identified as "Fun." For all Fun actually claims to know about the actual identity of the Oaqui, Oaqui could refer to a singular and/or plural, male and/or female and/or cosmic being. This is because the Oaqui language makes no distinction between singular or plural, masculine or feminine, young or old. Thus, the Oaqui apotheosis: to become not only one with the many, but also many with the one.