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So, I ask, what else do I do to keep it fun here in the inner playground when the elsewhere isn't as much funas it should be? Sometimes, I reply, I just count. How many steps between this and that? How many breaths from here to there? I count people, I count cars, I count whatever will count enough to keep me counting. If that's not fun enough, I estimate. 67 steps to the bench. 24 chews to finish the salad. 138 heartbeats from here to the end of the article. And if that's not fun enough, I place my bets. An ice cream cone or similarly unjustifiable expenditure if I make it to the door of the store in exactly 100 strides. Sometimes I talk to myselves. I personally have had ornate lecture halls built wherever my selves gather so that I might, when need be, astound my self with my wit. Make myself laugh, wherever I am. Give myself standing ovations whenever so moved. Deservedly so. Because on the inner lecture circuit I am widely known for my motivational speaking. I talk with a clarity and fluidity and practiced elegance that can capture the heart and mind of my inner audience. My words sound as well-rehearsed as a long-running play, and it's all improvisation! I can speak with equal authority, about truth and God, money and power, love and sex, sex and sex -- and I don't really have to know what I'm talking about until I hear myself saying it. When I'm not speaking to myseslves, I sometimes find it absolutely hilarious simply to attend to one of my many open rehearsals, with myself eveso versatilly starring as actor and audience and everybody I need to be talking to. I have become a big time entertainment industry, all by myself. Billion dollar Summer blockbuster? I can illustrate my lectures with spectaculars whose production values make Hollywood seem like a cottage industry. Million-acre amusement park? What Disneyland can compare to the attractions awaiting me in my inner playgrounds? |