Love and Play

Humor and Play: Joyfully Overcome Relationship Hurdles is a new article appearing in a rather remarkable health information resource called "Help Guide." Rather remarkable, at least from my perspective because it also coincidentally just happens to include an article that I co-authored with Dr. Jeanne Segal "Playing Together for Fun."

The article itself is also of the rather remarkable ilk, opening with a quote from Major Fun, himself, and mine, too.

Now that you know what peaked my interest, let me go on to suggest what might peak yours with some semi-random samples:

"Love play is not a competitive game; it has to be fun, interesting and equally engaging for both partners. There can be no winners or losers in interactive play. Something isn’t funny unless it is funny to both parties – and this includes teasing. Each person has to be excited and drawn into the experience. When this is the case, nothing is more stimulating. If, or when, the playful experience isn’t mutual, the play isn’t interactive and may detract from, rather than support, a love relationship..."

"Play gives us an opportunity to turn frustrations and negative experiences into opportunities for shared fun and intimacy. In the context of interactive play, we replace judgment and criticism with humor, and can say and do things that might be awkward or offensive in other contexts. In playful settings we hear things differently and can tolerate learning things about ourselves that we otherwise might find unpleasant or even painful. Play also gives us a positive way to address differences."

"Play is a powerful survival mechanism that supports our ability to surmount life’s hardships and tragedies. Whole civilizations brought to their knees have survived over time by enlisting the force of humor and play to counteract their distress. Deeply experienced emotions can alternate rapidly. One moment we can be in the throes of grief and the next laughing at a ridiculous memory or comment. Such is the nature of primary emotion. Humor and play are respites from sadness and pain but, more than just time out, play also imbues us with the courage and strength to find new sources of meaning and hope."

Intergenerational Kickball

Funscout Kris Bordessa sent me this link from today's West Hawaii Today. If you're not already a member, you have to join (name, email address). I'm not really much of a joiner, but if Kris, author of Team Challenges (you can listen to my interview here), tells me to look at something, it's gotta be worth the price of membership. So I click. And I look. And look! It's about Intergenerational Kickball!

And I read more. And I'm so moved. And so encouraged. Almost to the level of thinking "my job here on your planet is done," if you know what I mean. Not to prejudice you. Here. Read this. And you tell me.

"'You can tell we don't have any rules here,' joked mother and game coordinator Lani Bowman. 'We had one of the dad's come who's a baseball coach and he couldn't handle it.'

"Actually, there were quite a few rules that were announced as the game went on. First, and most important for the mature players in the game, was no beaning anyone over 40. But feel free to wallop anyone else with the ball as they run wildly past.

"Everyone gets to kick twice before the sides switch and you can start running when the pitcher releases the ball. Plus, someone has to run for 85-year-old Auntie Rose after she kicks.

"These are the types of things childhood memories are made of -- cool and clear Sunday afternoons with kids and "grown-up" kids screaming, running, laughing and getting dirty with little structure attached. For the group of 10 participating in this intergenerational kickball game at Kamehameha Park in Kohala this Sunday afternoon, the only thing they needed to worry about was the occasional rock in their shoe....

"'I love to mingle with the children,' said Rose Ramos, who at 85 was the veteran player of the group. 'The children are having fun so to be a part of it is fun.'"

Intergenerational Kickball. Organized for the fun of it. And because people were looking for "a way for the keiki [kids] in the area to interact with their elders and each other to build a stronger sense of community in an area that struggles with poverty, broken homes and drugs."

And they sure found a good one!

(see also my collection of Intergenerational Games.)