The not-yet-fun


To those of us who have devoted as much as an entire hour to puzzling out the secrets of the Oaqui* works ("Oaqui Oaorks"), the Creation of America transmission must be viewed as nothing less than the truly missing piece.

Taken along with therapeutics of Glee, according to the Oaqui, the Ethics of the Oaqui, Part 1, and the truly seminal revelations of Oaqui life in The Oaqui Family Picnic, the obvious conclusions begin to draw themselves.

Fun is the key. But the lock is not-yet-fun.

According to the Oaqui, our world apparently came into being during The Billion Years of not-yet-fun, which was billions of years after the whole idea of not-yet-fun was considered at all funny.

Fun in our world, the Oaqui show/s us, is the exception. not-yet-fun the rule. This is why making anything lastingly fun frequently requires a combination of lifelong commitment, spiritual heroism and a multi-million dollar marketing campaign.

As Major Fun, 30-year professional maker of fun things and times, I have seen both the awesome and awful done in the name of fun. Despite my faith in fun, I haven't really trusted fun. Not as the ultimate arbiter of ethical being. Not in this world.

But now, thanks to this revelation of the origin of the not-yet-fun, my faith in fun is restored. Because now I understand how new of a thing fun really is. And how big of a job we really have. And how patriotic!

That's the other thing about the latest Oaqui revelation that I find particularly liberating. Aside from my few years in ROTC, I've never really had the opportunity to think of myself as a patriot. But, yes, now that I think of it, fun is the most American of all things I could have ever wanted to make or be.

Fun is my country's real innovation. We Americans have carried the consciousness of mankind so far beyond the dark deprivaties of survival, that today most of us can spend most of our days bathed in the clean light of soap opera and awash in the sweet regularity of major league sports.

Fun is our most profitable export. Our movies, our TV, our sports, our millionaire players. Fun is our actual revolution. Fun is the ultimately inalienable right we have been trying to establish in an ultimately alienating world. Fun is what our founding fathers hoped to find, and built a country in the pursuit of. Fun is all we want to have. Fun is what we are here to make.  Fun is our singlemost greatest contribution to the evolution of the species. Fun is the American way!

So I'm thinking maybe of running for president.