Passing Humanity, a Walking Game

One of my favorite things to do when I go for a walk is to make passing contact with strangers. It's a fine art, requiring careful timing and sophisticated strategy.

A pass begins anywhere between 10 and 5 paces (the fewer the paces, the greater the challenge). During this time, you must establish eye contact and determine the form of encounter, verbal or non-. Each has its own range. Nonverbal can vary from smile to wave to hat-doffing (for the hatted few). Verbal can vary from "hi" to "hello" to "howya doin'" to "beautiful day" and beyond.

It can be a very rewarding game, especially when someone actually acknowledges and returns your greeting, the degree of reward depending on the form that response takes relative to your opening play. So, for example, a smile and a nod in response to your opening smile is significantly more rewarding than a nod or smile alone. A verbal response to your nonverbal opening is even more rewarding. Clearly the combinations are endless.

It can be an equally disheartening experience when your gambit of greeting is not returned.

To bridge the psychic abyss left by a Gambit Declined, I, from time to time, like to keep score. Every time I get a response, I give anywhere from 1 to 10 points to Humanity. In like manner, when I don't get a response, I chalk it up to Man's Inhumanity to Man. Since I am on the side of Humanity, I am always gladdened when Humanity wins. Consequently, I am constantly exploring new and more effective strategies to secure Humanity's ascendance in the Great Game. And, when the victory goes to the dark side, I, at least, am not personally implicated.

One of the things that makes this game so richly playworthy is all the variables. The allure of finding a winning strategy often keeps me smiling and waving even when Humanity is 10 or even 20 points behind.

It is in this spirit that I reveal one of my most exemplary and successful strategies:

First, you need to find someone with a baby. I do like babies, by the way, so the following is no mere ploy. The trick is to smile at the baby first. Not that you'd expect to get a smile back . Depending on how many paces you were apart when you initiate the smile, you might go so far as to include a mini, baby-appropriate wave. The second, and equally crucial part of the trick is to glance up from the baby in time so that the implied greeting is deflected upwards to the adult. I've become so skilled with this strategy that Humanity has earned as much as 8 points from a single passing encounter.

 

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Okay, Major FUN, I'll bite with a story of connecting with people while walking. 13 years ago my husband and I attended a program at Omega Institute, which included a piece on discovering your inner child. My husband and I painted up as clowns and greeted participants at the cafeteria door. Our impromptu shtick included awarding a free meal to any participant who let us paint a flower (or design of their choice) on their face. Their looks were justifiably incredulous, as there was no charge for the meal anyway - it was included in the program fee - but over 90% of the 250 participants on campus went along with our offer. Which, of course, instantaneously provided everyone with the opportunity to discover their inner child, and to be immersed with hundreds of others discovering their inner child. (Not that Omega participants aren't already doing that, anyway).

I learned a fascinating lesson that day. As I walked across campus, still painted up as a clown, someone asked me if people treated me differently. I mused on that, and turned the question around, asking, "Do YOU treat me differently?" Yes, came the response. "I look at you. I have permission to look at you." And so it was revealed: the norm is that we don't look at each other, as we walk our paths, as we travel our journeys.

How apt the subject of this thread: "Passing Humanity." Sigh Hmmm, maybe it's time to buy some wild purple eyeglasses.

Thanks for provoking this fond recollection, Major FUN

Here's another story about passing humanity - a walking game.

During my college years, I lived in different parts of the country during the summer, to experience different cultures, and to learn through experience what in my surroundings was important to me.

One summer I worked in NYC. The week I got back to college in upstate NY, I was walking down the street when a friend spotted me from the other side of the street.

"Jan, Jan" he called, and waved.

I heard nothing. I saw nothing.

"Jan, Jan" he shouted. I heard nothing.

He crossed the street, calling to me and waving his arms.

I heard nothing.

He walked in front of me.

I saw nothing.

He put his hands on my shoulders, stopping me and looking me in the eye, asking "Jan?"

Then and only then did I emerge from the invisible bubble I'd been walking in. A bubble I didn't realize I had learned to build around myself, to protect myself from the crowds on the streets of NYC.

By becoming aware of the protection I had devised, I could recognize it was no longer necessary, and I could drop it.

And I have chosen, thereafter, to live where that bubble's not necessary.

I wish not to pass humanity as I walk, nor be passed.

That Walking Game became a Waking Game.

Jan

 

I too play a walking game of sorts. Here is my mantra I silently recite while in a pedestrian mode:

"Smile"

When you smile, I smile, that's the deal.
I will not walk past you and not look you in the eyes and not acknowledge you.
Instead we will pass each other and say hello - not with our words, for they are not the same, but with our faces.
I meet you, and I see there is good in your eyes;
there's passion in your heart;
and there's a friendly hello in your smile;
and for the first time we can relate and appreciate each other.
It's all it takes.
It's where it starts.
Because I know that you will smile, and I will smile, and all the rest is easy.

Anonymous

from Lee Rush

 

What a fine idea, to make this a game! When we moved from the North to the South, we played this unconsciously. I'm a native New Yorker, so I expect other people to be rude, alien, or psychotic. My wife's very very shy, so she doesn't want contact with strangers. We were each appalled by the high incidence of smiles, waves, and *conversation* from total strangers on the street. After a few months of this, I started using the outgoing meme on my own. Lots of fun. And, using it back up in the North, found it warming.

Bryan Alexander
Center for Educational Technology
homepage

 

Thanks for providing a name for the game. I'll now more consciously play the Walking/Waking Game & maybe even keep score. My playing has evolved since moving out of Toronto nine years ago. I've learned to do the "country wave" while outside working in the garden. I wave at cars as they pass & often get a wave or honk in return. I seldom know who's in the vehicle. On my treks into Toronto for clients & colleagues, I find it challenging to try to connect with other folks using transit, elevators and waiting rooms. People are usually pleasantly startled (at least I interpret their response that way) to be acknowledged and a wee bit engaged. I also use the baby route to making the connect. It can be very heart-warming. Here's to bursting a few more bubbles! cheers

Carol